New classic!

Those of you who knew me when I proofread my first Chinese Horrorscope will no doubt remember such classics as "Do not go to the market if you are midget" for Don't sell yourself short, or indeed "It's time to blow the bassoon" for blowing your own trumpet. But fret not, there are some good ones in this one too! "You can get a more personal life," frinstance, this is always a good thing. Unlike "being stabbed behind your back." But the best so far is "Do not ruffle more feathers than you can chew." Hear, hear!

And there it was - gone.

Poo. I was just getting nicely started! Actually started getting the story moving of its own momentum, at least it felt like it - I have no idea where it was/is going. No rule against carrying on between Screnzies, which is good, because I would really like to see where this bare bones, plot obsessed, lines and actions type of writing takes me. This one is not an idea I can use as a skeleton and flesh out for Nano, it has its own dynamic and pace and won't suit the ... confines? of prose. I have always thought prose had a lot more opportunities than any other writing genre, because it can describe the effects of them, but this time it feels as if it wouldn't do the job at all. Is it because it is pure showing, no telling? Or is it the very tempting idea of letting music do half the mood and scene setting, in addition of course to the ... er, setting. Making a note of day or night, forest or café and moving on, because you don't have to describe it in sharp and fresh detail - the audience is supposed to actually see it! Job done. Or at least a part of it. So the sole focus is on the lines, the composition, the flow of the visual story. Very interesting, very fascinating, very new to me, thinking and writing this way. Must do it more. Must try harder.

Screnzy fade-out looming

Missed it. Again. Can I have another April now, please? Because I really feel like I need to Get Out More (never mind just Getting Out and having an Out-of-house experience), get fresh air and see people and stretch my legs and blink my baffled, rectangular eyes as the light - sunshine, is it? - hits me. Need to have non-scripted events take place - reality, is it? - around me for once. Hear people saying things without quotation marks. Have situations start and end without chapter headings and cliffhangers. Just simply be out there in the - world, see, I know that one. I have been reading up, translating and proofreading for a month solid now, whinge, whinge. How am I going to get freckles this way? Or exercise?

And not just that, but I have obviously been through a few possible stories for Scriptfrenzy - these adrenaline fuelled in-a-month challenges always seem to kick my creativity into overdrive - and now it is just about over, and I have only just begun. No fair! I know, I know, I have a whole year to plan and outline the latest blockbuster screenplay now, but it's not the same, is it? And before I know it, it'll be November and I am to be not just participating, but ML-ing Nanowrimo in Chester! Maybe I should outline the Screnzy plot and use it for a story skeleton to be fleshed out at Nano, and then adapt it back into a screenplay next April ... (groan)

Anyway, on a happy note: I have found yet another interesting idea, and it actually fits into my whodunnit school of thought, so there. I find that sort of story much easier to work on when time is tight, because it starts off like a puzzle to me as well, and I can play about with the different elements until all the pieces fit and the information is correctly spaced. (And yay! I am translating a book by the Queen of Puzzles next! Won't say more until I have got the contract signed ...) As soon as that works, the rest of the story can be light hearted, gritty, litty, noir ... which ever you want, all you have to do is write it. Easy peasy.

All I need now is to win the lottery.

Oops, I did it again ...

Okay, so it's far into Screnzy and I am lagging behind to say the very least. This year I have tried to adapt one of the (manifold) Nano stories from last November, but I find that two of my three main characters are stood - resolutely - in mortal danger, and all they can do is waffle. I can sort of see the film in my head, but I am getting nowhere near transferring it to the page. Also, of course, with recesson hitting one of the companies I have been working for, leaving them unable to pay me and me chasing the next deadline to get the cash flow sorted, time is at a premium and voluntary, unpaid writing has to go and stand over there at the back.

Never mind, as the title suggests, I have gone and done a by now familiar and expected thing; I have changed the story. I nipped into a Liverpool write-in on the way home from observing the 2 minute silence in remembrance of the Hillsborough tragedy, and they must have inspired me no end, because on the train I whipped good, old Neo (upgraded) out and got three pages down before I almost missed my stop and had to grab everything and get off. I have now added, and will no doubt add more, because all of a sudden I am loving it, having fun with it and wishing I had more time to spend on it! My poor, sodden protagonists from the failed first attempt will have to stay in mortal danger for a while longer at the beginning of the script, though, to prop up the number of pages ...

Hope everyone else is enjoying the process and/or the product! It's not over yet!

Back on my head.

Grrrr ...

Typical. The Liverpool ScriptFrenzy gang are getting together for a pre-Screnzy meet and greet tonight, and I have still got 140 pages left of the #*<&#*!! proofreading I have been suffering with for OVER A WEEK already. Usually I would have had it done, dusted, invoiced, archived and forgotten by now, but this translator (and I use the word in its most frivolous sense) has chosen to follow the hitherto unknown, unseen and unheard of rule of the comma: Insert in exactly the same place as in original version. Oh, and add a few more for effect. (Which effect, I hear you ask? Why, making the proofreader cry and tear her long locks out, of course.)
Now I know that in English you are for some reason not supposed to put a comma before and, or or but, but I have yet to hear a good reason why. Is there one, or is it just one of those things? I read English sentences the same way I read Norwegian ones; as they stand, with every letter, word, space and symbol. If there is no comma, I will just carry on at speed. The fact that words like and and but suddenly appear does not make me insert a little break or change in tone of voice - I don't see them until I read them, and then it is too late. For me, the comma (and the full stop, colon, semi colon et al) are the conductors of speech, or the director, if you will. If a sentence is long and winding and keeps loading on those ands and buts but never gives me any clear indication that maybe I should make a little break or anything and just leaves me to it I will just read it all out in one single monotone and then put the book or whatever it might be abruptly down and think to myself that I won't be bothering with that then.
So - commas. I know my commas, at least in Norwegian. In this case, the translator has effectively made the whole book unreadable. There is a mistake in just about every single sentence. I have to find commas, delete them, add others, split sentences, rearrange words and rewrite. And it gets worse: There are word-for-word translations of English expressions, rendering them meaningless; misunderstandings regarding tea and tea (I hope I never get served a sausage-and-baked-beans hot water infusion); tests, matches and test matches, not to mention wireless operators becoming puppets without strings ... AAARGH! It would have been easier to just do it all again.
So, my friends, this is the reason why I have to stay home today, tonight and tomorrow to get this thing done and delivered by Monday morning.
Thanks for listening. Comma. I feel better now. Full stop.

Screnzy!!!

Hi, it's me again - do you still remember me? I have come back early from my Camino this time for several reasons. Even though it was a great trip all in all, I was actually glad to be home a week early and though I might get a little bit quieter than usual when an Office of Letters and Light event is going on, I have decided to try to get my hunded pages of script done for ScriptFrenzy no matter what. I need to get my creative brain back in shape as much as - or maybe more than - the rest of me. Also this year there is a ScriptFrenzy Municipal Liaison in Liverpool, YAY! so I am hoping for meetings and write-ins and all the stuff that goes with Screnzy. Hopefully I will be able to take part and then learn a thing or two before it's my turn to be ML for Nanowrimo in Chester in November! Join me, I've got stickers ...
But first things first; ScriptFrenzy starts in April and the goal is writing 100 pages of original script before the end of the month. Have a look at the we site for all the info: http://www.scriptfrenzy.org/ and join a group near you!
More when I get going, I'm type247 there as well, so get in touch and we can cheer each other on!

Breaking the surface/silence

November madness feels like a different age, a different country now. Since then I have translated not one, but two novels (two different publishers, doesn't do to let them know about each other), had Christmas with parental pneumonia and 'flu (Christmas dinner was vegetable soup) and then, in this new and supposedly marvellous year (the Chinese got it right; it is all Bull so far), my editor cracked up completely and got all her dates in a twist, leaving me with six - 6! - weeks to finish another translation! Hence the complete and resounding silence from this end.

BUT now deadline is fast approaching, and so, luckily, is the last page of this book. Not impressed with having to hurry like this, but on the bright side I get more money for a shorter work period and then two weeks off before I go walking in Spain again. And in these two weeks I WILL get lots of exercise, read several books, get more freckles, visit the Zoo at least twice, break in the hiking trainers and backpack properly, translate the Camino Portugues guide from English to Norwegian so my walking buddy can road test it as we go, get a scan and lose this cold. Yay! And at some point I am going shopping for the ultimate diary and pen (lightweight, of course) to bring to the Camino with me and get some writing done every day.

By the way, I will be asking for sponsorship in aid of Comic Relief as well - I am bringing a camera and a selection of red noses (as you do) and taking pics of me and good, ol' Saint Jim in the Cathedral when I reach Santiago plus a few along the way. And all funds go straight to the cause - I was shocked to find that some people use the donations to pay for their own expenses when they are raising money!? That's not charity, nor is it cricket. Poo on them.

Oh, and then there's April and ScriptFrenzy!! Any of you Nano-ers doing it this year? More fun, more frustration, more caffein and Maltesers and sudden Eureka-moments and itching to delete and all night writing sessions and falling behind and catching up and looking at that sentence with baffled disbelief; did I write that? But it's ... it's ... (brilliant/ridiculous/beautiful/horrendous/just right/so funny!) Have a look at http://www.scriptfrenzy.org/ I'm type247 there too, so feel free to buddy me if you want. Last year I was innundated with ideas during Nano and found it hard to concentrate on just the one, so I am going to use one of the leftovers for my Screnzy project. Think Dr Who gothic ...

And then there is more translation, more training, more books, more walks in the Zoo and more freckles, and then in September I go for The big one; the Camino Frances. Stay tuned.